eThoughts : Patterns III (January, 2005)

The New Year is a good time for recapitulation amidst the celebration, a time to re-visit how we see things, how we relate, and how our relationships are doing.

Though it seems silly to me in many ways, relationships of long ago seemed to have found their way back. Hibernation is not just for some animals apparently.

For instance, old feelings nurtured by another have been afoot for months now–I could clearly feel them out there, at least in one. It turns out another was doing that as well. One caught me by surprise, one did not.

I also noticed that my feelings were surfacing. This energy reciprocity is an interesting thing. Do we unconsciously put out energy that is felt by another, then they respond and we’re surprised or cautious, or happy, or whatever? Do they? Do we both?

Is it a conscious thing approached through the unconscious so we can deny and avoid responsibility?

How about a little of both?

I don’t know. But I did find out some things.

Because I knew that others still had feelings, I had hope.

I found that out.

And I suspect they also had hope, even if they knew I’d leave it be.

And I did.

But they didn’t want to leave it be.

And I was glad, because I had hope.

It was a good thing to find out.

However, Benjamin Franklin said something along the lines that one who lives on hope dies of starvation.

In one case hope ran off a cliff pretty quickly. There were some death throes against the backdrop of miscommunication so bad it could only be funny, but it was still pretty quick.

Nonetheless, giving up what we cherish can bring out the wounded grizzly-bear mother-defending-its-offspring in us—there’s likely to be some disturbances in the energy field.

Similar to how the commercial for cereal goes, I found that out again, for the first time.

Are all of these thoughts and sentiments just a different kind of corn then that in the commercial? Isn’t there something more important going on in the world to discuss?

Perhaps. But maybe the patterns of thinking and feeling, on any level, are important trail markers announcing our circling until we finally understand we are no longer in unfamiliar territory after all. And in such a case, perhaps those last splinters of hope are best pulled out quickly, before we have time to outsmart ourselves and keep up the circling. That might apply to some of the philosophical positions presently driving human interaction in the world, on whatever level.

So, recapitulation is a re-calibration—tuning up our compass heading may keep us from going in circles.

If we can stop cherishing hope, yet not stop cherishing others, we=ll likely get a lot of energy freed up—energy we need to break gravitation pulls and jump to another plane at the same time as we keep that loving feeling. Lots of that has been lost in our global interactions. After all, we can get spread mighty thin always being saints or sinners—or, as most of us are, both.

I learned that again, in a deeper way.

I’m amazed, even while I feel the hole in me where hope died. Or is that the anchor fallen away from me?

Perception may be interpretation, but we still have to pick a direction. It’s a funny life that way.

Cleaner energy, uncontaminated and unafflicted, is a good benchmark for what nurtures our soul, our spirit. That’s a good direction and a nice resolution for the New Year—out with the anchors, in with the wings.