eThoughts : Looking for a Good Used Space Ship

(For more Holiday thoughts, go to: Holiday Thoughts for 2003 or 2004 Holiday Thoughts and 2004 Holiday Thoughts Continued or 2005 Holiday Thoughts Continued or Holiday Thoughts: 2006 and We Are and the Age of Clarity .)

It’s the Christmas season and time for gifts. This year I’ve decided to go with a top-of-the-line spaceship. For economical reasons, I will accept one that is a certified, previously-owned spaceship.

Of course the spaceship must be able to whisk me away to any place my heart desires, at the drop of a hat, but without creating any space/time warps or other problems in the cause-and-effect world, including everyone else aging dramatically compared to me when I get back. And it must do so with all the luxuries. So, off to that secluded lake in the deep woods, or that glacial setting in another part of the world, or any great beach anywhere, or mountain top, or ocean bottom, or desert, or any planet or galaxy or star system (you get the picture). Or, if I’m feeling more social, off to any shopping mall, theater production, or other social gathering. And the ship can turn into a maintenance-free car so as to not arouse suspicion, and turn back into a spaceship when no one is looking (which the ship unfailingly knows). Yet I still get, no matter where or when I go, a complete and maintenance-free Jacuzzi, fireplace, panoramic windows (insulated, spot and dirt proof of course—that’s what we mean by maintenance-free), able to serve up any meal without fuss or clean-up whenever I need it, as well as appropriate, clean, pressed, top quality clothing. And, of course, the ship must include a complete and maintenance-free entertainment system—the best. And complete computer and communication capabilities, with voice activation—whatever I ask for is done by voice command, from wherever I am. And if technology changes somewhere in the universe, I get automatic upgrades. And I and my family get free and complete health care—good stuff too, no economic considerations. In fact, the health care is so complete that we all get automatic information about everything we eat and drink, and about how much exercise we need, etc., etc. And, in case I’m forgetting something, the spaceship includes that as well—after all, I don’t have the time to think of everything.

Ahhh, I can feel myself breathing easier already. With all of the stresses truly eliminated, I get the greatest gift of all—coming face-to-face with me. With everything handled, I’ll have no excuses, no outward foils to blame. Any problems I have are truly created by me.

Yeah I know, it’s probably mostly that way already. But it’s just harder to see without this spaceship. And after all, the lazy way to enlightenment is still enlightenment. Let’s be clear about that. This strife, struggle, and turmoil bit is a little overrated I think, so I’m willing to give the easy way out a shot. We’ve already proved our ability to endure, let’s try on a little vacation.

That’s a great Holiday idea and gift. May there be one of these spaceships for us all.