Things I’m Still Learning, Part II
May all your troubles last as long as your New Year’s resolutions. Joey Adams
Even with stopping at two parts, it looks like I’m heading into the New Year with a list of needed learnings that could fell me on my best day. Maybe I’ll be satisfied if I comfort myself on knowing how much I have to learn—I don’t want to be too busy.
I’ll give myself a concern-break by remembering I’m still learning that to deny my nature is no way to transcend it. And I have to keep in mind that to deny others their nature is to no way to put the wheels back on the wagon. The former is a tough gig because of Joseph McCarthy-like inquires (he was the 1950’s communist-under-every-rock hunter). The latter is likely to Joseph-McCarthy others. I love being myself, but am not too fond when others look at me like I’m the village idiot. However, I tend to do some village-idiot projections on others as well and that’s just as bad. Keeping each other down is a tough way to transcend who we presently are.
As a related point, I’m still learning that my vulnerability has to be selectively offered, but I cannot allow it to be taken. I get nowhere being tough 24/7, only exhausted. I’ll need that energy when others try to take my weak points and exploit them. I’ll have to avoid having at them as well.
Hmmm, more related points: An act of will is not the same as an act of courage. I cannot simply will all this stuff into being. I might as well build a snowman in a hot pan. Courage is the ticket, and I’ve got to have it even if I’m whining about what has to be done. And believe me, I’m whining.
And more: Despite my cynicism, I have to learn that love can conquer all, but only if we act in loving ways. On the other hand, loving others can get one killed. Now that I think of it, I’ll go with behavioral reciprocity instead of loving everybody and everything regardless of what they’re up to. There’s no sense denying present human nature.
And yet more still: In 2013, I’ve absolutely got to learn that everything I do and say can be misinterpreted (and probably will be). The learning corollary is to not let my attention get hijacked by misinterpretations. And, uh, yeah, I need to watch my own interpretations at work and not let them side track me or others.
Time is an odd influence and methinks in 2013 I need to get better at wrapping my mind around that dimension. I get the sense that time does not dictate my life, rather, like many dimensions, time is a contributor to my life. I think it’s a case of who’s in charge and I tend to think time is, especially when I don’t think I have much time. It must be all those bumper-sticker philosophies like “time conquers all” or “time waits for no one,” etc. that is affecting me. I’m going with those who find that time is ours to use.
I already know this as do many folks: The weirdest thing is not to die, but to live. In 2013, I trust I’ll put more time into living, instead of working to live or working to avoid dying badly. Such learning will likely mean more vacations, but I’ll try and deal with that as well.
In 2013 like all our years, there will be many gift-giving holidays. It’s a good notion, but it can also be a deadfall. Gift-giving is supposed to let others know we care and are thinking about and acknowledging that caring. However, gift-giving holidays can create a lot of responsibility as well. Most of us have way too much responsibility as it is. In 2013, I will give the gift of less responsibility to others (that will leave me more money for vacations as well—a clear win-win!). None of us need more things to do even if we all need reminding how much we’re loved. Big gifts don’t say love any better than a genuine embrace. (Yes, there’s some real cornpone there and lots of comedic stuff is running rampant in my mind. Here’s one from E.L. Kersten of Despair.com: “Money can’t buy you love. But it can buy exotic cars and luxury yachts. Once you’ve got those covered, you’ll be beating love off with a stick.”)
Enough, or it will be 2014 whilst I’m still writing about 2013. Wait, is that time running me again?
All this continued learning is quite an undertaking, especially with the cornucopia of political Bozos and the voters who elected them. Yeah, I voted. However, I’m not going to put my tail between my legs, I’m going out there with a New Year’s renewed vigor, at least until I get back from vacation in a couple of weeks.
Happy New Year Folks!