This has been an exhausting week. I have worked, processed, and released much (though I’m sure I’ll create more that needs to be worked, processed, and released). The emotions that I’ve been feeling do not seem toxic, even if they are passionate. It all feels right, and I notice that I again seem to be breathing a bit easier.
When I took out the trash tonight, I took the cards that my ex-lover had given me, tore them up and tossed them out. I read each first, to give it my attention and intention. What I did was deliberate, and what I felt was a little more weight lifted.
Normally I have a ceremonial burning. A few months after my first love and I broke up for the first time, when I felt ready and clear, I took much of what I had that was hers, went into the hills, dug a pit, and buried it. I did it with ceremony and felt that the earth was a proper place for those items. But I did keep some things, including a lock of her hair. After we broke up the second time, some 18 years after the first separation, I took all those cards and letters, as well as what I’d kept from the first time (including the lock of her hair from when she was 16) and I dug a pit, built a fire, and, honoring what I was doing, without vengeance, I remembered each item and I put them in the fire to release both myself and her. In the same manner, I did likewise with the mementoes from my second love, recapitulating and clear