eThoughts : Obeying and Resistance

Let’s play devil’s advocate and upset the apple cart for a minute. In this particular case, it is merely a thought experiment—we’ll be able to stand the cart back up and put the apples back where they were. No long-term damage will ensue.

What is with the old language in a marriage vow calling for a woman to obey her husband? Though we’ve put that language aside, I suspect there might be some ancient wisdom involved. Now before most everyone gets their garments in a twist, perhaps the ancient wisdom is not so much about gender as it is about authority. We’ll come back to that in a minute.

I was having a discussion with a woman recently who became rather put off by my supposition as to her state of being (I was saying something about the possibility of her not knowing herself).

Let’s see—if I don’t have a point, then it is not about her, it is me that is wrong. This wasn’t a life or death matter—it wasn’t much of anything, why get mad about it and start accusing me of being arrogant? If I do have a point, why fight? In either case, it may be that she was just proving my point about her not knowing herself. I mean, if she so surely knows herself, why become resistant and defensive? Could that be because her state of being is so tenuous that she is afraid she will be usurped? Are her pronouncements about my being her own supposition? Why is it okay for her to do what she doesn’t like about me?

Having a good point doesn’t have to create winners or losers—it could just create learning. Not having a good point is the same issue.

Actually, it’s pretty funny. And pretty much the standard nowadays when it comes to such things as religious issues, ethnicities, and gender for instance.

Let’s take the gender issue—I happen to think that was what this was about. I may have written this before, but some feminist (I forget whom) said that if it wasn’t for men, women would still be on one side of the river. And as Jerry Seinfeld offered in one of his routines, who else but a man would dream of going to the moon—and taking a car with him (he didn’t mention a golf ball and club as I recall)?

Men are nuts. But it is an amazing quality and not to be taken lightly. We bring much to life’s table by sheer screwing around with things that otherwise seem just fine as they are. There are problems with this for sure. It seems like males kill themselves off in pursuit of their screwball antics, many before they become adult men. That bears some attention, even if we don’t necessarily want to kill off the nuttiness.

All right—what’s the point of obeying, if there is a point? What if it has something to do with authority—the one who is making the best points or has the most experience (don’t think winners and losers)? Though I favor awareness over authority, we cannot deny the impact of authority. Be it man or woman, the one who has learned the most from their experience (by utilizing awareness) is the one to follow. If you’re a greenhorn in the mountains, you’d be best served by shutting up and going with the one with the mountain experience. You might also want to do some research about who has the necessary experience.

True authority is not about control—it is about knowing the landscape whereon each stands. In that sense, maybe there is something to the invocation to obey—and maybe it doesn’t just apply to males. Just be sure you know what you’re talking about.